Let's Trash The Stupid, Shrimpy SD Gundams!
by Yami Goku
Summary: The characters from the lamest Gundam series ever created get what they deserve...! ()


Here's a crossover fanfic featuring Mecha!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
I don't anything that doesn't belong to me.  
  
LET'S TRASH THE STUPID SHRIMPY SD GUNDAMS!  
  
A Multi-Crossover FanFic by Yami Goku  
  
-+*+-  
  
One day in the CGI world of Fruitopia--I mean, "Neotopia," several CGI characters from S(tupi)D Gundam were having a picnic.  
  
"What a nice day! I wonder why we're all CGI?!" wondered the CGI boy named "Shoot."  
  
"That's because we're just lame computer-drawings, because the animators are too lazy to do any drawings with ink and paint, thus giving Anime characters more warmth and heart!" replied the so-called Gundam named "Captain Gundam." "Us CGI characters are so cold and sterile!"  
  
"Why did the animators make us so fucking cute and shrimpy?! We're a disgrace to the Gundam name!" asked the long-named "Bakunetsumaru."  
  
"We deserve to die!" lamented the Gundam whose name I can't remember.  
  
A loud noise thundered in front of them. Shoot (WHAT KIND OF FUCKING NAME IS "SHOOT"?! I'D LIKE TO _SHOOT_ THE GUY WHO CAME UP WITH THAT DUMB NAME!) and the three "SD Gundams" looked upwards, and saw two _HUMONGOUS, NORMAL-SIZED_ Gundams standing in front of them! They were the Wing Gundam Zero from Gundam Wing, and the Burning Gundam from G Gundam!  
  
"Eep!" uttered Shoot (him).  
  
The Wing Gundam Zero aimed its weaponry at the Gundams. "Kiss the sky, you wimpy little plushies!" shouted the non-CGI Heero Yuy.  
  
"OH-NOOOOOOOO!" was all Baka-Nutso-Maroon was able to say as Heero let loose a barrage of firepower unto him! He was blasted into several thousand pieces, so he could never be re-built!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried (Just) Shoot (me).  
  
Heero then blasted Baka's "Gun Soul," so he could never be resurrected!  
  
"*sob* DOUBLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" sobbed Shoot (the idiots who created this crappy knock-off).  
  
"YOU LITTLE FUCKING MURDERERS! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!" threatened What's-His-Name Gundam.  
  
The Burning Gundam stepped forward. "I DON'T THINK SO!" exclaimed the also-non-CGI Domon Kasshu.  
  
The Burning Gundam spread its wings (or whatever they are), and the King of Hearts crest flashed on its back. The Burning Gundam held out its glowing hand.  
  
"THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER! IT TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! HERE I GO...!"  
  
The Burning Gundam picked up What's-His-Name Gundam with its glowing hand! What's-His-Name Gundam couldn't take the heat! "OWWWWW! YOUR HAND IS TOO HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!"  
  
"...ERUPTING...BURNING..._FINGERS!_"  
  
With the power of its godly Erupting Burning Fingers attack, the Burning Gundam squeezed What's-His-Name Gundam like one of those dolls you squeeze to alliviate stress! There was a big explosion within the Burning Gundam's palm! Domon opened it, and released the mass of "Gundanium" dust that was once the Gundam whose name I couldn't remember!  
  
"Woah...!" Domon looked up and saw What's-His-Name Gundam's Gun Soul floating up to Gundam Heaven, or wherever it was they went.  
  
"VULCAN!"  
  
Domon destroyed What's-His-Name Gundam's eternal Gun Soul!  
  
Shoot (everybody in the whole damn world) was shocked and scared! "*sob* TRIPLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *cry*"  
  
Captain Gundam knew that he had to fight now!"I SHALL AVENGE MY FALLEN SD GUNDAM BROTHERS! I MAY BE SMALL, BUT I PACK QUITE A WALLOP! YOU SHALL _NEVER_ DEFEAT--AAAAACCCCKKKK... ...!"  
  
Captain Gundam was squashed by the foot of another giant Mecha, but it wasn't a Gundam...  
  
"AH-HA! GOTCHA!"  
  
It was Leena Tauros in her Gun Sniper from Zoids Zero! Leena lifted her foot up, and looked at the shiny silver-and-blue metal pancake in the CGI ground. Captain Gundam was barely able to speak. He spoke, very weakly. "I guess...computer animation...is...okay...when done properly...*gaacckk!*" Captain Gundam died! Leena stomped on him a few more times, then wasted Captain Gundam's Gun Soul with her missiles!  
  
"*sooobb* QUADRUPLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *sob* *sob* *cry*" cried Shoot (insert your own "Shoot" pun here), totally frightened and wanting to die! He started to run off, all the way back to his little futuristic CGI house with his CGI family!  
  
"He's getting away!" shouted Heero.  
  
"I'll stop him! WEASEL UNIT TOTAL ASSAULT!" Leena released her ultimate barrage of explosives at Shoot! But unfortunately, Shoot was fast, and they all missed! (BOOOO!)  
  
"What the...?!" asked a confused Leena.  
  
"Your attack disappeared!" said Heero.  
  
Shoot ran into the street, where he was immediately run over by several cars, a truck, a herd of wild Tauros (Wild Bull Pokémon, not hot red-headed sexbombs! (^_^)), an army of Puchuus, a purple-haired Amazon on a bicycle, a pink-haired girl on a yellow Vespa, and finally a red-headed girl in a sailor fuku dragging a whiny blond-haired Hellspawn behind her. The three Mecha pilots had to admit: It _was_ funnier that simply blowing him up! Leena blasted Shoot's corpse one more time just for the Hell of it. As Shoot's splattered CGI blood and guts digitized, Leena looked at the two Gundams. "So, how about some lunch?"  
  
"Sure!" agreed Heero.  
  
"Okay," accepted Domon.  
  
But before they could get out of their Mechas and eat, they were interrupted by another stupid shrimpy Gundam.  
  
"I AM ZERO THE WINGED KNIGHT! I SHALL--GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH... ...!" Zero The Winged Knight was blasted to smithereens, Gun Soul and all, by all three Mechas!  
  
"Rip-off!" accused Heero before Zero was destroyed. Everyone got out of their Mechas, and Leena unpacked a _huge_ picnic lunch, but not before their Mechas had stomped on and kicked away all of the CGI food from the "Superior Defender Gundam" picnic! As they began to eat the delicious lunch, they started a nice conversation.  
  
"Why couldn't have Cartoon Network picked up a _good_ Gundam series, like Gundam 08 MS Team or Turn A Gundam?" Domon said between bites.  
  
"They ought to hurry up and bring Gundam Seed to America! It's _really_ popular in Japan! It just may be the _greatest_ Gundam series ever made!" suggested Heero, eating a hero.  
  
"Speaking of Cartoon Network," said Leena, "Did you see that new Zoids series that they have on Saturday nights, 'Zoids Fuzors'? Hmph! That 'Sweet' isn't _nearly_ as gorgeous or beautiful as _I_ am! And she has no Zoid!"  
  
"And why did they just reuse the Liger Zero? Can't they think of any _new_ Zoids?!" chuckled Heero.  
  
"What about the Shield Liger in Zoids Chaotic Century?" asked Domon.  
  
"That's just the same Zoid, except it's blue and has energy shields," explained Heero.  
  
"That Fiona has nothing on me, either," mumbled Leena.  
  
But just as everyone was about to start eating again, a loud noise came from over the horizon!  
  
"What the...?" said Heero.  
  
Everyone stood up and looked over the horizon. It was an army of pathetic CGI Gundams!  
  
"Oh, man! I'm starving! Not more CGI Gundams!" groaned Leena.  
  
"_I'll_ take care of this. You just eat," said Domon as he got back into the Burning Gundam. As soon as he was suited up, he did a few dramatic poses, and leapt in front of the opposing SD Gundam army. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something about the army looked kind of familiar to him...  
  
"The Dark Army of the Devil Gundam? I thought that I destroyed you all _and_ your leader!" Domon exclaimed, totally confused.  
  
The leader of the shrimpy army spoke up in a _really_ wimpy and laughable voice. "We are the Zaku-Zakus! We serve Cobra-Maru, or whatever the Hell his name is!"  
  
"WELL, WHOEVER YOU ARE, I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!" Domon shouted as he began to power up the special technique that he learned from Master Asia.  
  
"SEIKI-HATE-KYO-KEN!" (Did I romanize that properly?)  
  
The powerful wave instantly obliterated the annoying little Zaku-Zakus! They all screamed loudly in their pathetic voices as they were blown to smithereens!  
  
"That was easy," remarked Domon.  
  
But little did they know that the destruction of the Zaku-Zakus had caught the attention of their leader, Cobra-Maru! A shrimpy Gundam shaped like a cobra appeared before everyone!  
  
"WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I AM LORD COBRA-MARU! WITH ALL OF THE 'SUPERIOR DEFENDER GUNDAMS' GONE, I AM FREE TO RULE ALL OF NEOTOPIA! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed Cobra-Maru insanely.  
  
"Oh, shit...!" cursed Domon under his breath.  
  
"This is getting hella old!" said Heero as he and Leena got into their respective Mechas.  
  
"WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! JUST _TRY_ TO DEFEAT THE ALMIGHTY LORD COBRA-MARU! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed Cobra-Maru insanely again.  
  
"WE'LL TRY, AND WE'LL SUCCEED!" shouted Heero.  
  
Domon made the first move. He attempted another Erupting Burning Fingers attack, but Cobra-Maru flew out of the way just in the nick of time!  
  
"D'OH!" grunted Domon.  
  
Heero tried hitting Cobra-Maru with his guns, but alas, Cobra-Maru was too fast for him!  
  
"RRRGGHH!" growled Heero.  
  
"WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! YOU'LL _NEVER_ HIT THE ALMIGHTY, OMNIPOTENT LORD COBRA-MARU! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed Cobra-Maru insanely yet again. Cobra-Maru looked at the Gun Sniper.  
  
"OOOOOH! LOOK AT ALL THOSE WEAPONS! OOOOOH, I'M _REALLY_ SCARED!" teased Cobra-Maru sarcastically, a welcome change from his insane laughing.  
  
Leena had just about had it. No one, I repeat, _no one_ got away with insulting her Zoid!  
  
"YOU'D _BETTER_ BE SCARED!" shouted Leena, ready to fight!  
  
"YEAH, WELL, TRY AND CATCH THE ALMIGHTY, OMNIPOTENT, UNBEATABLE LORD COBRA-MARU! YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME UNLESS YOU HIT ME FIRST! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Cobra-Maru laughed insanely, which was getting old fast.  
  
That did it for Leena! As Cobra-Maru sped off, Leena gave chase! Cobra-Maru may have been incredibly fast, but the Gun Sniper was capable of extraordinary speeds, almost matching the shrimpy S(ucks)D(ick) Gundam in terms of speed!  
  
"WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! YOU'LL _NEVER_ CATCH THE ALMIGHTY, POWERFUL, UNDEFEATED, OMNIPOTENT LORD COBRA-MARU, MUCH LESS HIT HIM! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Cobra-Maru laughed insanely *sigh* _again_.  
  
Cobra-Maru picked up speed, as did the Gun Sniper. Leena loved running around in her Gun Sniper, since it had a tendency to bounce as it ran, making her cute hair decoration bob up and down, and her tits jiggle. She loved that. But as much as she enjoyed running, she knew that it was her duty to catch and destroy Cobra-Maru!  
  
"TAKE _THIS_, SHRIMPAZOID! WEASEL UNIT TOTAL ASSAULT!" exclaimed Leena as she unleashed the full offensive fury of her Zoid straight at Cobra-Maru! Every missile and explosive struck Cobra-Maru with great and Heavenly accuracy!  
  
"HHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Cobra-Maru as he took the full brunt of the assault!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU DEFEAT THE ALMIGHTY, POWERFUL, UNDEFEATED, OMNIPOTENT, AMAZING, GOD-LIKE, SUPER-DEE-DUPER, AWESOME LORD COBRA-MARU?! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY _WHY?!_ AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH! I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, YOU CRETINS! I'LL BE BACK, AND STRONGER THAN EVER! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... ...!" Cobra-Maru's insane and demented laughter continued until he finally succumbed to his damage, and exploded violently in a huge fireworks display! Flaming pieces of metal flew all over the place, distracting everyone from his escaping Gun Soul! When the smoke and fireworks had subsided, Cobra-Maru's evil (and pathetic) Gun Soul had already retreated to Hell, to plot his evil (and pathetic) return!  
  
The three Mecha had been blown over by the explosion, so they stood back up.  
  
"Aww, crap! His Gun Soul got away!" groaned Leena.  
  
"Well...At least the Aniverse is free of those stupid, shrimpy SD Gundams!" said Heero.  
  
"And if Cobra-Maru _does_ return, he'll be no match for us, or anyone!" added Domon.  
  
"Yeah!" said Leena.  
  
The three pilots got out of their Mechas, and finished their picnic lunch.  
  
"*munch* *munch* You know, Leena, that SD Gundam that you crushed had a point. Computer animation _is_ okay, _if_ you do it properly," said Heero. "Take _your_ Anime, for example. All the 'Zoids' series have a mix of both digital _and_ CGI animation, making for a real top-notch work!"  
  
"And how about 'Cowboy Bebop'? That Anime is a mix of ink-and-paint _and_ computer animation! And it looks pretty damn neat, if I do say so myself!" said Domon, gobbling down his sandwich.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" agreed Heero, finishing up his hero. "*burp* Bandai really loves its digital animation!"  
  
Leena didn't say anything, she was too hungry! As soon as everyone had finished, they said their good-byes, then took off for home in their Mechas. But not before taking a moment to activate a 1,000,000-megaton explosive device, blowing all of Neotopia and all its residents to Hell with Cobra-Maru, and then some! Since it was a timed explosive, they all escaped safely!  
  
When Heero got back home, he had sex with Relena.  
  
When Domon got back home, he had sex with Rain.  
  
When Leena got back home, she fantasized about having sex with Bit.  
  
ALL OF THE STUPID, SHRIMPY _INFERIOR DEFENDER_ GUNDAMS ARE DEAD, AND THEY CAN'T COME BACK! AND THAT STUPID KID SHOOT IS DEAD, AS WELL! WHA HA HA HA HA!  
  
COBRA-MARU IS DEAD AND IN HELL!  
  
WHERE IS JOE MERCHANT?!  
  
-+*+-  
  
THE END... ...?  
  
LONG DIE SD GUNDAM! _Will_ Cobra-Maru return? He just might, _if_ I write a sequel to this! _Will_ I write that sequel?! Stay tuned...!  
  
Yami Goku: dark_magician720@att.net 


End file.
